This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
