You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she smelled like a LAN party
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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