She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
