i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
