I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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