you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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