so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
