Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
