Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
