no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
