dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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