You work out of a Hotel?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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