my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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