i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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