Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
