Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
