Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
