do herpes really smell.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
