I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
