That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
