I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
