I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
