I'm gonna have a badass scar
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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