New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
