after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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