Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
What a dumb baby whore.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
