I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Small penises have feelings too.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
