yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
