She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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