I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
