do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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