Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
