If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
