Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
