Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
