Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
