Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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