He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
