No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
