so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
