What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
