We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
