accomplished twins. life is a go
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
