I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
