You just made me feel so damn special
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
two words: eviction party
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
