You're so nebulous sometimes
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
