those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
