I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
