have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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