I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
