no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
