we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
